I don't want to stand there anymore and listen to her tell me that "I've let things slide" that "I'm the monster in the relationship".
Then don’t, defuse the situation by walking away and into a different room. Simple say I’m not going to discuss anything right now.
She knows you are changing and learning to stick up for yourself and she’s trying to get you back to how you used to be………………..notice I said USED TO BE.
Stick to your boundaries you are doing a good job, her melt downs are proving that.