Weather forecast sunny = dread
Well it looks like it will be a hot May bank holiday weekend in the UK! Just realising that instead of being excited about this, and planning things to do outdoors like normal families might, such as
Picnics with the kids
Walks with our dog
Visit to a national trust park and eat ice cream
A day at the beach
B- B Q food and a fire pit roasting marshmallows
Garden centre visits and time planting beautiful flower tubs
Instead I will be avoiding AH who will joyfully fill the fridge with his tins of beer and sit outside until the early hours drinking himself into oblivion. He will get the kids to pass him his next beer rather than get of his own lazy ass. Because the weather is his perfect excuse. He will cut the grass as his token “see I did contribute I deserve this beer” activity. Never mind that there are 100’s of other jobs that never get done like clearing the driveway of moss or stacking logs or cutting the grass at the front of the house or washing the cars.
Yes I could do the above without him I guess... it’s just that the garden things would mean being around him whilst he drinks. The days out with the kids mean him coming along - and drinking anyway so we will row over who’s driving home. (I get anxious about motorway driving so avoid it if I can plus he is a horrible passenger - he tells me when to pull out, change gear etc)
Another manipulation tactic I’ve cottoned on to is the false jovial happy mood when he’s just about to open his first can! Eg
“Oh do you fancy a lasagne for dinner? And this great tv show starts tonight! I’m looking forward to watching that with you!” Smiles warmly at me whilst reaching into the fridge.
So daring me to spoil this “great mood” by mentioning the beers. (Which I don’t - no longer give a flying one about what he pours down his gullet)
So what does everyone else do on hot summer days when there’s an active alcoholic drinking in the same house? Ignore it? Why should I go out and leave him to enjoy the garden by himself?
If he were not living here I would put my favourite music on, sunbathe. Do gardening. I’d paint my garden furniture and pots in bright colours and have fairy lights and candles lit. The kids would help me make wind chimes out of twigs and shells to hang up and play with the hose pipe. There seems no point in doing this because he’s there to spoil the serenity and it would feel like I’ve just made his drinking area even more inviting!
I’d maybe even get to enjoy a glass of wine on my own and watch the sun set without feeling like a hypocrite. Then I’d read a book with a blanket over my lap as it got dark and light a fire in the fire pit.
One day...