I did it and thank you
I did it tonight. It was time and I couldn't take living this way anymore. Thank you all for advice and for things I have read here to which I haven't replied.
The biggest help for me with this discussion was staying on my side of the street with some boundaries. There was no blame - lets lovingly let each other go and keep the kids as first priority. Omg the relief, sadness but relief from us both. I hope it stays that way.