Originally Posted by
oakwood 
But I'm struggling with what I think is vertigo. I'll start the day off fine and full of confidence and knowledge of what I need to do. On my way to work I repeat my plan, smile to myself at how free I'll be.
Then, sure enough, about 3 pm, WHAM, the decision is made, even without my knowledge, it seems. I think it's what the book describes as vertigo. SNAP, it's done and I'm just going through the actions I always do. it happens so quickly I don't even have a chance to recognize it.
Any suggestions?
I keep telling people that their Beast can read. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it is true. You'll be reading the RR book, but you can bet that your Beast is looking for loopholes, and that what you are reading is being colored by your Addictive Voice. In your case, oakwood, your Beast jumped on the "vertigo" thing, which is really the only part that suggests that you may be caught off guard.
In April's case, her Beast latched onto the "reversal of intent" and twisted it into an escape clause. April's case is very easy to fix, she just needs to re-word her Big Plan to say something like
"I will never drink again, I will never change my mind, and I will not have any reversals of intent."
You, however, will have to ditch the idea that vertigo, or drinking, for that matter, is something that happens to you without your knowledge. This obviously is not the case, since you just told us at what time "vertigo" will presumably happen to you today. Even the most automatic of drives, the drive to breathe, can be restrained, or otherwise no one would be able to swim underwater. Drinking takes a bit more foresight and planning than breathing, no?
Your Beast has already shown you it's cards before even laying down its hand. All you need to do is to wall yourself off from your desire for alcohol when it comes. If you can do this, then you'll find that you are safe from IT. At 3 PM, when you get that nice anticipatory feeling of drinking, distance yourself from the desire, by saying to yourself
"IT, my Beast, my body, wants to drink, but I never drink."
Don't talk
to your Beast, which will just lead to white knuckles. Simply recognize IT, talk
about IT in order to detach, and then ignore IT. Don't let your Beast build a case of incompetence against you because you changed your mind about drinking, either. You are fully capable of resisting your desire for alcohol, just as you can resist flirting with a co-worker you find attractive even when your body tells you to do otherwise. Try asking your Beast to wiggle your index finger, and you'll see that it is powerless, and cannot do anything on its own.