Everhopeful,
Can you clarify something? So, you live in the US and he lives in the UK and you were going to move to that UK to be with him? How did the two of you meet? Don't answer those questions if you don't feel like it.
Back to self care for you: You sort of need to "reclaim" yourself here. I've been in your shoes, back when I was just 20 years old and VERY naive...I was so in love with my boyfriend back then and didn't even know he had another girlfriend he was trying to break free from. SHE ambushed me one day and introduced herself as the girlfriend and threatened to commit suicide if I stayed in the picture. She had been stalking me so she knew when one of my classes got out...and she approached me on campus....
That was a very troubling time in my life, but you know what? I eventually managed to go on, to reclaim myself without the boyfriend
and I distinctly remember giving myself plenty of self care and doing things that had always brought me joy. I spent Christmas alone that year too...but you know what...I dug deeper into things I could ALWAYS bank on: My faith, my music, fitness, being active and my studies.
I recovered myself...you can too...tell yourself that....hugs