It's so good to have you back, outdoorsman. I'm sorry for the misery you're feeling right now, but we're here to help.
I did the same thing just before joining SR. I had 3 yrs. sober & decided I could have 'a glass' of wine. I tanked really badly. 7 years later I came crawling in here with my life in chaos. The non-judgmental encouragement meant everything to me. You will reclaim your life - never feel embarrassed with us. Congrats on your 4 days.