Yeah I think that's the only thing my husband misses about my drinking. When I quit, the things my husband did right were; letting me decide my own recovery plan, letting me make changes in my own plan as I saw fit, allowing me my enormous need for sleep, forgiving a several months long lapse in general functioning with housekeeping, allowing me to take personal time for meetings or the gym, understanding that he could hold me at night but my need for sex was about a third what it was before, knowing when I didn't want to talk, being relaxed about my modest weight gain and respecting my need for privacy regarding recovery and recovery related information. By being hands off but still being my partner he helped me stay sober for 6 months and our relationship is intact.
It was a lot. I had to focus on myself....a lot. I needed the space for that. He seemed to intuitively understand that and I think my sobriety was also his priority, so he was willing to let me do what I needed to do.