Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
What kind of evidence would you require?
I know that it has turned your world upside down, but there are no guarantees in life and addiction.
I think One Day At A Time works - it may be the only thing that works. Being present in this moment and not giving into fear is key.
He can't give you any guarantees and really all you can do or need to do is be your own best self, create boundaries and create a life outside the relationship so you aren't putting all your eggs in his basket right now. When I was newly sober I couldn't take on any other person's fears or issues. He can't do anything more than be sober and regain your trust and that just takes time.
Let it unfold. It will anyway.
Evidence is simple. It is part of my boundary. If he wants to be in this home, sleeping under the same roof as my son and I - he needs to work his plan - he needs to make the effort to put himself first - his sobriety first. He puts others before him to a fault - sacrifices his time and needs, wears thin, takes on too much for other people - then is overwhelmed and triggered.
He doesn't have to be perfect, I am far from perfect.... but, he needs to follow HIS choice of discharge plan - attend outpatient - 90meetings/90days, don't cancel on his therapist, take the vivitrol shot as he wants to, and occasionally offer to take the kid to school so I can sleep in (last is just wishful thinking).
He needs to commit to himself and commit to sobriety. My boundary is clear that I cannot allow my son to grow up in chaos.