Dear tatts, welcome to our little corner of safety. Many of us on this forum have walked the mile or longer with our addicted adult children. I am so sorry you are dealing with this and 19 is so very young for your sweet daughter to lose her father. I dealt with my oldest sons heroin addiction for many years and it took me a long time to let go of his addiction. If I had to go back again to the beginning with my son, I think being informed and armed with information on addiction and recovery would have made my journey a lot easier. I was fooled by his actions so many times and I wouldn't face the fact that my precious child was addicted. As you know, drugs change everything about us. It is a wonderful idea to open up as Hopeful suggested and let your daughter know how much you love her and maybe offer a meeting for both of you? Also, maybe a grief counselor who also specializes in addictive relationships? Keep posting and sharing with us here at SR. We are walking with you.