Originally Posted by
doggonecarl 
I hope you can come to the understanding that you've been chained to alcohol for years, its prisoner. Your addiction has blinded you to that. But you've had moments of clarity. Many of the posts you've made to SR have come when the "lights go on." Sometimes they read like you are miserable in sobriety...but they aren't. You are miserable in your addiction and in your struggle to get out of it.
Sobriety is the door.
I agree with this, no question I am miserable in my addiction. So unbelievably tired of of struggling with it. With every ugly moment alcohol has brought me I feel that in my core, alcohol addiction makes me absolutely miserable.