Originally Posted by
Mandy73 
I need to learn how to stop viewing alcohol as a reward and something deserved, celebratory, and as a means to relaxation and fun.
I hope you can come to the understanding that you've been chained to alcohol for years, its prisoner. Your addiction has blinded you to that. But you've had moments of clarity. Many of the posts you've made to SR have come when the "lights go on." Sometimes they read like you are miserable in sobriety...but they aren't. You are miserable in your addiction and in your struggle to get out of it.
Sobriety is the door.