Berrybean

WFG. I think she might just be overbearing and projecting 'street'. There's not much street about sitting round your cousins place bullying her into drinking wine. Likely she has her own agenda linked to her own insecurities, both for her own drinking and attempts to hold you hostage.

To be honest, in a lot of these kind family situations the lines between who's enabling who to keep drinking get very blurred. And it can be easy to get caught up in chicken and egg arguments about this kind of stuff. The solution is found when we step away from the problem, which to a large extent isn't your cousin, but the drink. And we don't need to be loud or confident to do this. We don't owe any of these people an explanation. She hasn't got to LIKE you stopping drinking. She's allowed to dislike it as much as she likes in fact. It can be quite an interesting phychological observation so see what tactics people will employ to manioulate us once we decide to stop doing stuff to please them that harms us. Those of us who are of a more co-dependant nature do find it tough to start with though. If you think you might come into that category then Codependent No More is a great empowering book to read.

Its all a learning process, and it does get easier gradually.

What are your plans for tonight? (Hopefully they exclude your cousin and wine).

Wishing you all the best for achieving sobriety and freedom.

BB

Ps.

Medical Definition of codependency : A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person manifesting low self-esteem and a strong desire for approval has an unhealthy attachment to another person and places the needs of that person before his or her own

NOTE: In codependency, a person tries to satisfy the needs of another who is often controlling or manipulative and who may have an addictive or emotionally unstable personality.