I don’t have any children, so I cannot speak to that which will be one of your primary concerns...custody, visitation, support, etc.
I spoke to two attorneys, one for a more traditional divorce (I.e. in court) and one for collaborative divorce. I researched the types of divorce in my state. I used the collobarative attorney. Most attorneys will do an initial consult for free, and you may want to meet a few to find one that you like.
I put together a list of all our assets, debts, and things I wanted spelled out in the divorce. I had a separate list of all our physical possessions. I went through each list and determined what I wanted to see happen. I was able to review this with my AXH, and basically come to agreement. It was very fair as we essentially split everything 50/50, except I kept our dogs.
My divorce was relatively simple & easy; we actually did a no contest where I had my lawyer review everything, draw up the decree, he reviewed ( could have consulted an attorney), and filed. One brief court appearance for me, he waived his right to appear, and we were done.
My therapist was key for me before, during and after. A book I got came highly recommended...”The Good Karma Divorce” by (Judge) Michelle Lowrence. It helped to keep my focus on the end goal...a calm & peaceful home life for me and our dogs.
I was very fortunate that it was all relatively simple for me, but I think the attorney consults, and really examining what I needed and wanted helped. All my best to you, your son and your dogs. It’s another club I never wanted to join, but I’m definitely happier on the other side.