i was at my counselor this morning. i said, "i don't know if i am an alcoholic" because my story doesn't seem as bad as some others on this site.
she said "i don't know for sure, but i know it's not a competition."
agreed. i would say what brought you here is already your answer. the obstacle is the path, no?
the truth is i can do what i want. we all can. our mind might say "a cold beer would be great at this baseball game!" or "i am just going to have two glasses of wine" with dinner.
but for a lot of us...as for you...it doesn't just stop there does it?
here is what you wrote:
"In my mind I have plenty of control. But then for instance I've been completely sober for a while and then I'm going on a train and then that same mind - me - decides to go and buy some of those vodka and coke cans for the journey, and then that's a week or two of heavy drinking commenced."
Instead of thinking whether or not your thinking aligns with all of ours...Think about the last time you went on two weeks of heavy drinking. How do you feel after its over? What happens to yourself during those two weeks? Do you like who you are? Do you like how you treat yourself and others?
you see, none of our minds are exactly alike. but i know we are all at this website to become better than we are now. to find our best selves.
maybe that is why you are here too.
if so, people here can help you get there.