You seem to be saying youre in control yet out of control.
Im no expert - Im leaning towards youre out of control and rather than pontificating about it you could make up your mind what is best for you.
Plenty of literature and help on here to help you decide. You might well find other groups such as AA helpful or even something as simple as a visit to your doctor.
Ive chosen to leave it alone as it was causing health issues myself - and now - I realise I shouldnt have waited. I wont bore you with the myriad of other troubles drinking caused over the years.
Good luck - I hope you get an answer that assists you.
Regards
Dave 🤠