Originally Posted by Buckley3

Straight talk here - what's moderate? What's Just?



You're in denial. If you're drinking you aren't abstaining and whatever 'forceful restraint' you are trying isn't working.

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.



Intention doesn't get us sober. Be careful of shame and guilt, we use it as an excuse to keep drinking. The AV makes us feel like if we're just sorry enough or just guilty enough that makes up for giving in. It doesn't.



It's not destiny. And it's not so subconscious when you write it. You're trying to negotiate with it. It gets worse, not better.


I'm being direct because I hope you can find it in you to start working Step 1 and let go. There's no need to let it dismantle the rest of your life. There's absolutely no downside to sobriety. None. But you'll have to get out of denial first.

Plenty of resources here for a plan that works for you. Certainly doesn't have to be AA. But as an outsider reading what you are writing I'd be wary of judging any plan or program until you've accepted that you need and want the help and have worked any one of them through regardless of how you feel about them in the moment.

Be well

-B