Originally Posted by
RainingButtons 
...It is so hard to react with a measured and controlled response that doesn’t accidentally give the impression we are “telling” them what to do or not to do but at the same time - not displaying enough complacency to give the impression we won’t mind if they do have just that “one small drink”.
What I'd suggest (where possible, depending on the current availability of patience required to respond in that measured and calm, detached way) would be to try to respond with a question designed to help him realise
for himself the insanity of what he's just said.
This,to you (sober and not engaged in an inner debate with an addict voice) might seem like staying the bloomin' obvious. But if he has that AV screaming at him, this can be really helpful. Obviously, it'd be better if he got himself a sponsor to do this with him, but while he's resistant to this and you want to support him I'd say it's worth a shot.
So, for example....
"That’s maybe the type of drink that’d be nice to have just as a nightcap.. instead of lots of cider?”
"Do you think changing types of alcoholic drinks will make a difference though? (Did you try that already? -if he did. Most As have already tried that plenty of times) - or is it actually the alcohol that is the problem?"
“I’d like to think I can still have a drink of SOMETHING once in a while?”
"That's an interesting idea. What do you think would happen once you'd drunk that something?".... "And then?"...."And then?"....
“Every time I think about having a glass of wine I feel like I’d be undoing all the good I’ve done - silly eh?” (Like eating a doughnut when you are on a diet?)
(As above.)
You telling him what he doesn't want to hear is never going to work. You encouraging him to say what he doesn't want to hear might not either, but it's worth a shot perhaps. This is generaly how my sponsor helped me to stop listening to my own rationalisation (excuses) for possibly taking a drink, well, that and sharing her own experiences which might be a little more tricky in your situation.
If it doesn't work or there are times that it's not possible to engage in that conversation in a detached way, then I would just unashamedly change the subject each time he mentions drinking. But that's just me perhaps.
BB