I can relate to this post at the moment too. My AH has been “dry” only a month but with no support so he’s basically white knuckling. The last few days he’s dropped a few “hints” about wanting to drink again. These are some of the things he’s said to give you an idea.
(Whilst watching a TV programme where ghost hunters were investigating Jim Beam distillery)
“That’s maybe the type of drink that’d be nice to have just as a nightcap.. instead of lots of cider?”
“I’d like to think I can still have a drink of SOMETHING once in a while?”
“Every time I think about having a glass of wine I feel like I’d be undoing all the good I’ve done - silly eh?” (Like eating a doughnut when you are on a diet?)
All the time though I realise he’s trying to probe ME into giving him the green light. If they want to drink then why do they need our “permission” first? So they can blame us! So we can’t complain!
It is so hard to react with a measured and controlled response that doesn’t accidentally give the impression we are “telling” them what to do or not to do but at the same time - not displaying enough complacency to give the impression we won’t mind if they do have just that “one small drink”.