Originally Posted by SoManyQuestions

Cvicioso, when you say "something isn't clicking" it could be that your ex is being advised by her sponsor to block you and cut contact. I had a strong feeling when my ABF said he needed to take a break from the relationship, but didn't want to, that someone else was advising him. When I asked him to clarify if it was a "break" or a "break up", he said "what I said first" almost as if he had just been parroting what he was told to say. In any case, I had to accept that he was doing what he needed to do to deal with his alcoholism.

I didn't understand why he had to cut me out of his life so abruptly and so completely. I, too, felt like a "pariah"...like I was some kind of terrible influence, a trigger for his drinking, someone to be avoided at all costs. This was incredibly hurtful, since I also had been only kind and caring in the relationship. I wasn't even displaying codependent behaviors during the relationship; it was only when the break occurred that all my latent codependency came rushing back.

More than seven months later I still think of him every day, and I still hope that we can reconnect at some point (maybe just as friends), but essentially the outcome is out of my control. Let the other people in your life remind you that you are a good, caring person who is not to blame for this turn of events. The pain will lessen, but it takes time.