Cvisioso......All romantic relationships do not work out.
And, romantic relationships begin in a "dreamy" state...to one extent or another....."we are soul mates" is a commonly heard refrain....
Mother Nature has arranged it to be this way...it is a necessary stage. The cascade of the powerful bonding hormones assures that this happens.
We tend to behave our best and we see the best in our partner.
All normal and natural....in the beginning.
After the beginning part is over....we begin to see the partner in more realistic wa y...without the rose colored glasses....
We have to ask ourselves if this person can give us what we want and need for a lifetime of enrichment...or not?
Broken bonds of attachment are very painful, when broken....enormously, and shockingly painful. Mother Nature arranged for this to be so...for good reason. It is all a part of the Great Plan for the propagation and survival of the species.
Wisely, the same Mother wired us to be able to survive such pain and to heal from it. We are wired to adapt and go forward....this is a part of our wonderfully adaptive qualities, as a species.....
You are going to grieve...as the first step of healing....
It is going to hurt like *ell, for a while...but, it doesn't stay like this....
It should be apparent that your partner has a pallet of issues...and is not behaving toward you in a normal, healthy way.
All in all...you have had 1 yr. of the good stuff...and 1 1/2 yrs. of the bad stuff.
Total of three years...which is a very short time in the whole scope of your life...in the big picture.....
She has addiction problems and who knows w hat other ongoing issues that she brought in her baggage.....You can't figure addiction out...and, you will never get to know what her other previous issues are.....
It is necessary for you to accept that she simply is not the one for you......
I think the following song is a good one for you to listen to, right now.....
https://www.bing.com/search?q=youtub...S&pc=EUPP_UE04