Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Hi and welcome, sorry about your situation.
Are you absolutely sure that she has been sober? I guess she might just be a person that needs a lot of alone time when stressed, however, taking off for days seems unusual unless there is something going on like drinking or some other mental challenges?
What your describing is not normal behavior, but i'm sure you already know that. You mentioning how different she is now from the person you met just might indicate that she was actually still drinking but of course that just a guess.
I began to suspect a relapse shortly after the breakup and my therapist did as well, but I’ve learned from mutual friends that she’s still attending meetings regularly and still regularly meeting with her sponsor. She has also shown kindness to my family members who have reached out in an effort to retrieve my belongings, but will not show me kindness at all and as I said refuses to speak to me.
I was able to get a singular response wherein she said “I am not being hostile I’m just taking care of myself and I hope in some time you can realize that” this made me feel gaslit and very crazy. Never in my life have I experienced someone taking care of themselves so directly at the expense of another’s pain. I started to feel like perhaps I’m the crazy one for wanting answers and my things back. Perhaps I’ve ways been an obstacle in her caring for herself. How could Caring for herself include blocking me and removing me from her life entirely when our breakup was truly very amicable. When she broke up with me the co dependent came out and I immediately apologized and thanked her for her honestly. I told her I was grateful she would trust in me to tell me the relationship had to end and ultimately loved her enough to let her go. It was after this that all the craziness ensued.
As I said above I am beyond heart broken. Late last year she moved just a few blocks away from me with the insistence that we would be moving in together this summer. I am feverently trying to move out of our neighborhood in fear that I will run into her.
Both of her roommates none of her whom are in active addiction have stopped speaking to me as well. I feel like a pariah.
The way she’s acted throughout this entire process makes me question who truly broke up with who. It feels as if I overtly hurt her and as a result am being met with resentment and deep anger. Perhaps she has been drinking again. This was always a great fear of mine and as a result I always made sure to put her sobriety above my own needs