My Partner with 2.5 years of sobriety broke up with out of the blue
My partner and I dated for a year. When we first met it was dream like. She said I was her soul mate, she said she’d Felt like she had been searching for me in many lives. We were head over heels in love.
I began to notice that as soon as outside pressures and stressors permeated her life I would get the boot so to speak. She would immediately demand alone time even if it meant canceling plans.
I was never turned off or scared of her sobriety and active recovery. I was extremely supportive and joined al anon in order to better myself. If any issue arose in her life she would immediately depend on me. She depended on me for work related advice, financial advice, advice around her friendships, advice regarding her sponsees and emotional support.
As we progressed in our relationship I noticed that she was never willing to reciprocate the support I was giving her. After witnessing a loved one have a stroke i began suffering from panic attacks. She supported me for a bit and then revealed that she felt I was too reliant on her and too co dependent. This was hurtful seeing as I never put a cap on my willingness to support her.
As our relationship reached its end her work life was becoming More stressful, she found herself facing difficulties in her fellowship group. She began smoking cigarettes again (an old habit of her from active addiction) and hiding that from me. Her moods swang from her telling me she was madly in love with me to her not speaking to me for days on end. She insisted we book a trip to Mexico City for our anniversary and we did and were both so excited.
Our last interaction was her accusing me of being manipulative on unfounded grounds and subsequently halting all contact for a few days and then asking me to spend time with her to reconnect. At this point I found myself at a loss to what or where her behavior was coming from. Upon my meeting up with her to reconnect she told me she loved me dearly and asked for physical affection and then she broke up with me. Her explanation was that our relationship was preventing her from taking care of herself and building a connection with her higher power. Our entire relationship revolved around her sobriety!! And her needs!! Our relationship really was about her. She broke up with me a week before my birthday after having arranged several birthday events. The onus was placed on me to cancel everything and in the last four weeks since she broke up with me she has made it extremely difficult for me to have my personal belongings returned to me. She has refused to allow me to come pick up my stuff from her apartment under the guise that she does want to see me and she has blocked me on all social media platforms and other means of contact as well.
I’ve tried to reach out kindly to ask what’s going on because I am deeply confused and all I’ve been met with is no response and blocking. This has been the most tramuatic breakup of my life. I Iay awake every single night trying to figure out what I could’ve done wrong and truly despite her claims that our relationship was bad for her, our relationship was nothing but supportive.
She pushed me to book this trip just two weeks before breaking up with me and refuses to communicate with me around how best to handle an outstanding international vacation.
Her anger and resentment seems so unfounded and I am so confused. I don’t know where to turn, but I am deeply heartbroken and just want the happy, kind, honest woman I initially fell in love with. This person she’s become is not one I recognize. I feel tricked and decieved.