Originally Posted by
GerandTwine 
I think “how people react” can now include more mature and adult responses instead of “anger and contrary behavior”.
When certain negative consequences of drunkenness cause the family, employer, and/or local judicial body to get involved and demand accountability from the drunkard, that involvement is often thought of by the drunkard as being simply an additional negative consequence on top of the initiating one.
That’s how I thought when I used to drink, even between my binges, because of 2 reasons: I was still trying to figure out how to drink and stay out of trouble, and I knew recovery in our society was endless and stigmatized.
But I no longer see it as having to be an “additional negative consequence”. I now consider that the involvement of my family, boss, and/or local court can be a caring, judicious, even loving paying attention, treating me with respect and decency as a competent adult seeking from me accountability, trust, and normalcy as a common teetotaler.
Yes, in my mind “You’d better not drink again, or else...” can be the most caring, judicious, and loving involvement any authority can take in response to a damaging drunken spree by a dependent drinker.
When I took out the “pretty much” I became even happier.
I was speaking of how people respond to ultimatums, and it often isn't rational. That's been my experience anyway. Obviously yours differs. I personally was never able to stop drinking and using when I told myself I HAD to. I did it when I wanted to.
I'm really not sure how you got from my talk about negative consequences to assuming that people's concern itself is a "negative consequence," or is unloving, etc. I was thinking more in terms of DUIs, ruined relationships, lost jobs, health, jail, homelessness as negative consequences.
My observation with ultimatums to stop drinking, particularly in marriages and significant relationships, is that more times than not they don't work. The user simply doesn't care, or more often the threat is not carried through. The change mostly seems to happen when someone actually leaves, or fires someone, or sends them to jail, or takes their car. And it's cumulative. Some call it a bottom, I guess that's a term for it. I just think it's the point where an addict can no longer try and negotiate their way out of their addiction, in whatever form that negotiation takes.
"Pretty much" is California slang for "TOTALLY." It was meant ironically.