Originally Posted by
3trees 
B and C,
Done and done. thank you for being pragmatic. you were right!
i sent more apologies to my step kids and one said, "i'm sorry the holiday was a tough one for you. we love you." and the other one said "i guess i didn't even notice you were out of it...can't wait to see you again."
so, once again, the stories in my mind are likely a bigger deal than what actually happened. but the not knowing...that is the consequence of drinking. and the self-loathing that brought me to this site.
i am still insisting that my husband go spend some one-on-one time with his daughter and grandkids on sunday without me....i think i need to stay home in my "safe place" for a while. with my kids. dog. good movies. games. and a focus on staying well.
sunday will be one week sober. it's looking like it will be a good day.
Awesome! I bet that's a load of your conscious.
Good on you for empowering yourself. I mean, we can't isolate forever but I do think peeps sometimes wanna rush through this first critical week or so. Glad to see you plan to treat yourself well, find comfort, etc..
I mean, there will be other weekends. What you need is what you need.
Congrats on the upcoming week milestone! Build on those small wins. It will give you confidence.
-B
PS - Look around here by the way. Learn about alcoholism. Some light bulbs will start going off. For example, we're control freaks. I too build things up in my head and often find the reality is much less intolerable. Pretty sure it's a common theme around here. I think it's just a reaction to feeling out of control. You aren't alone, but down the road there's some work to do for us on these underlying issues.
PPS - Sorry for the rant, but one more thing. This isn't a bad thing!! It's a great thing!! We're on the road to self-actualization. And besides - ask yourself what, exactly, the downsides of not drinking are?