Hi
I could have written your situation. Except it sounds like your husband had more of a significant mindset shift for a period of time than mine. Mine seems stuck in the white knuckling it stage.
I have young kids, my AH started with social drinking that was a bit out of control and graduated to something he couldn't stop and into bad decision making that endangers my kids and others with small bouts of not drinking stints in between. I am also the breadwinner and his job had a lot more flexibility than mine.
I can confirm a lot f what these people are saying. In my experience it just keeps getting worse. I actually moved out prior to deciding to divorcing him and I have gotten to see his true colors. It's been ugly. Our divorce will finalize soon.
Him justifying his drinking sounds like a huge red flag to me. I just want to shake these guys. Like WHY RISK YOUR FAMILY??? I just think they truly can't see it.