Hi Dave not to pile on but I think you're underplaying this by quite a bit and that makes me think you're being played by your addiction a little.
Maybe this link will help explain to you why I think that.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...get-drunk.html ('at least I didn't get drunk...')
The too long summary is
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
D