HI Froggle and Welcome to SR. You've made a good start in posting to SR. Sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life. Most times I cannot moderate either once I've started drinking, though I start with good intentions. SR is full of wonderful folks with many years of cumulative sobriety and wisdom. We can help. Read through the threads and post when you feel like it. You are not alone. I practically lived on SR during my first days. It will help. Stay close.