I told him to come over after work because we needed to talk. he asked about what and I said our relationship and the drug use. he came over with gifts. (my favorite candy, chips, and cigs.) He kissed me before sitting down.
I tried to explain to him how I was feeling about the situation. I asked him what he would do if I made a rule that he could do all the coke he wanted would be want to be a rebel and stop completely? the answer was "that would never be a rule so that's stupid"
I explained that I loved him and would even die for him, But hard drugs is something I couldn't deal with. he went off on me. "I have been doing it for three months and you haven't noticed any difference in me and it has never effected you, so why are you acting like it is effecting you now just because you know? I'm really hurt that you don't trust me when I say I got this under control. I go to work, pay my child support, and always make sure everything is handled before I even think about getting some."
I started to feel like a terrible person but I explained that him being about to hide something like that from me for three months scared me because it ment he could hide anything from me. i then asked what he would think if he found out i had been shooting up heroin for the past three months.
he said "if you had been doing it for three months and i never noticed. I would think that you had everything under control and i would trust you. That's what trust is. You don't ask questions. If you trusted me we wouldn't be having this conversation"
Even though i had a sinking feeling that i was a terrible girlfriend and did something wrong. I knew what he had just said also opened my eyes. I said heroin because it is one of the most dangerous drugs out there, yet he wouldn't care because i said "i got this."? how could he actually love me and be ok with that?
needless to say we broke up. ( cried most of the night but was fine after that)we are still friends and text each other, but that's about it. he said he learned a lot about me that night and knows it was for the best. I agreed because I learned a lot about him too.