Full of fear and anxiety today- not really about drinking but sort of
My daughter's best friend has a very rare brain and spine cancer. She is 11. She is one of 20 known cases of this specific cancer in the world. Last week they did an MRI and found out the tumors have grown and the chemo is ineffective. They are trying to get her into a clinical study if she has the right markers. If not they will try a surgery but it will be very difficult because the tumors are surrounding the nerves.
My daughter knows her BFF has cancer and has been with her to chemo. She knows the chemo has been stopped and is happy for her friend. Her friend also knows the chemo has stopped but doesn't yet know her tumors have grown.
Today her parents went to meet with the oncologists to try to decide the next course of action. It is very difficult and of course everyone is on edge.
Normally this would make me want to go drink. My neice died of cancer at age 6. This makes me think of the devestation and sadness of her 3 year battle with cancer and her death.
I just feel lost and sad but also mad at myself because I am not her mother. I almost feel guilty for feeling so upset about it but that sounds crazy.
Anyway thanks for reading. I woke up so sad and full of dread today. My daughter and her BFF are going to a movie today while her friend's parents are at the hospital.