chowchow

My daughter's best friend has a very rare brain and spine cancer. She is 11. She is one of 20 known cases of this specific cancer in the world. Last week they did an MRI and found out the tumors have grown and the chemo is ineffective. They are trying to get her into a clinical study if she has the right markers. If not they will try a surgery but it will be very difficult because the tumors are surrounding the nerves.

My daughter knows her BFF has cancer and has been with her to chemo. She knows the chemo has been stopped and is happy for her friend. Her friend also knows the chemo has stopped but doesn't yet know her tumors have grown.

Today her parents went to meet with the oncologists to try to decide the next course of action. It is very difficult and of course everyone is on edge.

Normally this would make me want to go drink. My neice died of cancer at age 6. This makes me think of the devestation and sadness of her 3 year battle with cancer and her death.

I just feel lost and sad but also mad at myself because I am not her mother. I almost feel guilty for feeling so upset about it but that sounds crazy.

Anyway thanks for reading. I woke up so sad and full of dread today. My daughter and her BFF are going to a movie today while her friend's parents are at the hospital.

doggonecarl

I don't think there is anything wrong with being empathetic to the plight of your daughter's friend and what her parents are going through. Ultimately, though, it is something they have to work through, not you.

Being sad and guilty about how you feel...that's wrong. So is the alcoholic's impulse to drink over it.

DarklingSong

Thats awful Chowchow.....of course you would be upset. The best you can do, I think, is keep reaching out here (and to your support network generally). I know its those feelings of helplessness and sadness that can awaken my AV. We both know drinking won't make any of it better. I hope your little one is ok too......it must be hard on all of you.
Sending you my support.

Snowydelrico

Chow well done for not running for your dummy/passifier.
You need to be sober to support your daughter through this sad time.

This is one of life’s hurdles.
Time to be a grown up.

Take care chow

Rar

I am sorry you're going through this sad time, Chowchow. ((HUGS))

Forward12

I could dump a marathon on top of what you just posted, but don't drink. Life can be hell, but there is help out there.

Dee74

I;m sorry for your friend and her daughter, and for you and your daughter too.

The best thing I've ever done in recovery was be there, sober, for a mate when he was diagnosed with cancer.

I'm glad your daughter and your friend and her daughter have such a good friend like you in their corner, chowchow

D

chowchow

Thank you for your replies. Rest assured. I will NOT drink over this.