Thank you all!
Scott, i'm going to therapy in addition to the SSRI's. The tough part for me is the therapists I've seen don't seem to take anxiety spectrum disorders very seriously. I suppose that should give me some reassurance, but dealing with depersonalization/derealization makes it seems as though i'm loosing it. My last relapse was just under a month ago. I drank pretty heavy for two days.
CRRHCC, good insight thank you. I agree with your prospective, but reaching that state of enlightenment seems exceedingly difficult with a substance-induced brain imbalance. I'm hoping through sustained sobriety, i will get there.
Dogonecarl, Thank you. I hope so. I hope that the last relapse i had was just that; my last relapse. I'm hoping that sobriety will heal my brain in time. This bout of mental instability may just be the kick in the pants i needed to quit that crap once and for all. I just hope it isn't permanent