I once quit for 2 years and started back before quitting again. I know how you feel. You've been drinking for past 5 years you say? Well, I think where you're talking about is one of the steps I took to quit again. You will evolve to the point of quitting. In my case the unrelenting depression got me to quit. I am older now and the effects are much worse physically and emotionally. I feel much better now and feel safer with myself. These things helped me.