Thank you for your honesty Horn. You are allowing yourself to be vulnerable and that isn't easy.
Oh man, drinking buddies that get married. Lots to say on that. It has been my experience, not only with myself but years of listening to other addicts, that alcohol is our solution to our intimacy challenges, fears, anxieties, insecurities. Take that away and oh my gosh we are vulnerable. And scared. Yikes. Its like one has to relearn that entire 'relationship' thing. And intimacy, of any kind, can really be a challenge. So I guess I'm saying, I relate. I think like Anna said, counseling is great place to start. Making huge changes when you are literally days sober (changes as in leaving the relationship) is a huge mistake. If you love her, and it sounds like you do, try to hang in there until you are at least a couple months sober. Talk to her about getting some outside opinions.
Hang in there. Focus on you. Its hard enough to reshape our own feelings, let alone another persons.