Very sorry to hear what you going through. Sounds beyond tough. But I just want to commend you on coming here and letting people know what you are going through. I think many people including myself keep our problems to ourselves and don't take advantage of this great forum as a way to let it out. Stuff eventually builds, and sadly leads back to drinking as a way to escape. Reminds me of some of the people I have seen in AA that seem so comfortable letting people know what's going on with them. Don't know how they do it, but I know it's the right thing to do.
I hope you keep letting us know what's going on with you. John