I want to commend you on having a sponsor. If any post pictured a need for one on one, face to face, meeting your post would definitely qualify. I don't begin to think I would be qualified to advise on your situation. I can only share my experience with you, and hopefully that, along with others sharing their experience, you would gain strength and hope. Then, you can share with others. That is when life gets good! Your personal situation as described is not what anyone would draw up as a pleasing way to live. Here is the rub at least for me, as an alcoholic. Do I want to get, and stay, sober? When it boils down to it, wife or no wife, job or no job, health or bad health, money or no money, I cannot drink. I used to "drink at" my disappointments in life. Now, I pray about them, work on them with the knowledge I gain from help, and I give thanks for not taking a drink, and I give thanks for living sober another day, not with clenched teeth, but joyful that I have been saved from the alcoholic death trip I was on. God bless you, best wishes for your relationships.