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Originally Posted by
dandylion 
ca494......have you considered freezing your eggs? Right this moment, you probably have some left. Then, down the road, when you are more ready, you could, perhaps, have a child with a stable father........
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Good advice, IMO.
Ca -you asked for advice.
Please read the many posts here - from mothers with children with addict/alcoholic fathers. Also, check out the forum here for Adult children of alcoholics/addicts. The stories mostly are not happy ones.
(You will probably come to realize that indeed, bringing a child into this world - whose father is an Active A - is not one of the "best" things to do. So be thankful you did not get pregnant with this man.)
Your husband is Out of Control. His addictions are the only things that matter to him. You did the best thing, kicking him out. Absolutely. Yes, I know how painful it must have been for you to do this. (Been there, myself.)
If you were my best friend, or daughter, I would support this decision and tell you to file at least for legal separation, to protect yourself and your finances. I would tell you to get some counseling for yourself. Also, please try Alanon. And/ Or get immersed in the information on this forum.
Often in Alanon (and other support groups) we are told (when in a crisis) to wait for 6 months before making a big decision, like divorce. You don't have to wait that long, but it gives YOU time to get your own life in order, and to get some clarity in your heart and mind. Usually, by that time, you will know what to do.
For now, take care of yourself. Actually, going forward, always remember to take care of yourself. And, don't allow, tolerate or excuse behavior that is painful or violates your personal value system.
You deserve better than the crazy, toxic situation you are (or have been) living with!!!!
Really.
Hang in there.
here's a big hug for you.