So Lost! How did this happen
Hello. I’ve never posted on a forum before but I need support and I’m not sure where to turn. I’m 36 years old and my husband is 38. My husband is a drug addict and alcoholic. We have been married for 3 years in May and together for 5. When we married he had been sober for 5+ years but that quickly changed. First came the pill addiction(Xanax, adderall and Vicodin) then as of last year he started drinking again and in the last 6 months he has started smoking methamphetime and doing cocaine. He had a good job but within the last 6months he has been fired, for obvious reasons and has continued being unemployed and being a full time drug addict. As of this morning I asked him to leave our home. It was one of the hardest most painful things I have ever done. I have dedicated myself to helping him get better this last year but to no avail. He continues to lie and deceive me which I know is apart of his addiction but living under the same roof has become to much to handle. I know he is very sick in his disease right now and I know it’s pointless to argue with him because all it does is throw gas on the fire. He has lost all of his friends, his family is aware of his addiction and wants nothing to do with him until he becomes sober. I’m all he has left. Before I discovered the severity of his addiction we were trying to have a baby. We have been doing fertility testing and hoping to start treatment but I know now why we weren’t getting pregnant. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I’m 36 and I know this is probably it for me to become a mother but I also know I wouldn’t want a child that had a drug addicted father. I feel like I have been robbed. Of course when I kicked him out this morning he called me every ugly name in the book, said I was giving up on him and I never really cared in the first place. Which you can ONLY imagine how painful this was. I work a full time job and go to school and having to deal with this chaos in my home life is breaking me to my core. I’m not sure where to go from here. Looking for any advice or support right now. I feel so alone.