Originally Posted by
aliciagr 
This is a philosophy about recovery that I find helpful as a family member: try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try,try, try, try, try,try, try, try, try,try, try, try, try, SUCCEED!
Well, I keep trying to win the lottery & I'm not succeeding so I must be doing something wrong.
To me - this isn't a philosophy, it's Wishful Thinking. Yes - I hope I win the lottery, but I'm not quitting my job or living my life as though I already have.
Trying does not guarantee success. "Trying" in a situation with active addiction where you have no control over the other person's behaviors or mindset can leave you further enmeshed & acting as an apologist to their dysfunction because you're so invested in their success/failure.
Every SINGLE success story I've every read on the F&F side of things (here & otherwise) contained one very important component - the codependent person taking charge of their OWN recovery first & playing a very
minor character part in their qualifier's recovery. Across. The. Board.