Originally Posted by
ChucktownMC 
I just have the gut feeling that if I walk or separate it will be the lynch pin that makes her really hit her bottom.
What if it does Chuck?
What if you're keeping her from that bottom somehow by stepping in front of her consequences?
What if you're more worried about her "bottom" than she is?
What if you staying makes her bottom farther away, harder to reach & this progresses & keeps ramping up?
Where are your boundaries & limits with all of this? That's something no one here can tell you - that's the part you have to determine for yourself. We all have different levels of tolerance & acceptable behaviors.
Examples of doing for her in ways she can be doing for herself - tough, again it's individual. Are you taking on more of the household/financial burdens as a result of her drinking? Do you make excuses for her to the outside world to help keep her secret? Do you leave the kids in her care knowing there's potential for disaster, but just continually hope for the best? Are you funding her drinking? Are you cleaning up after it?