Mandy, I am usually of the opinion "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." (Hanlon's razor)
Your ex has a mean streak. Alkie, non-alkie either way he's a boob. I don't think he confused or working on himself. I think he's intentionally manipulative and unkind.
When I see private number on my cell, I don't answer it. 99% of the time it's a sales call. If it isn't, the caller leaves a message and I call back.
Move on.