Please Help! My ex played with my head and now I feel worse!

Old 03-09-2018, 10:32 PM
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Please Help! My ex played with my head and now I feel worse!

Hello all. As you all know from my previous posts, I blocked my ex alcoholic bf that's in a halfway house, and had NO contact with him. I was kinda working through it. Then on Thursday March 8th I got an "unknown" number calling me. I immediately picked it up because I thought it was my therapist as her number shows up "unknown" and thought she was cancelling our appointment on the 9th. Well it was my ex! I was shocked and said "why are you calling my phone? Who's phone are you using?" He said he was using his step brother's phone and blocked the number.

He was acting like everything was good? I didn't like how he said "so how are you and how's your dad? I love you and care about you, and wanted to see how you are, see how your dad is too." My dad has a blood clot, but he was just acting like nothing happened between us?

I said "you have no right calling me. My dad is fine, but you need to stop." He said "Well I wanted you to see the new me, and I wanted us to start off slow. I love you, but I owe it to you to be the new Mark that treats you well." I said "but you're not in love with me?" He said "but that's why I wanted to start over. I wanted to fall back in love with you again. You deserve to see the sober Mark." I said "well, that's thoughtful. I'll speak further about this with you. I'll unblock the payphones, so call me from there." His brother wanted his phone back.

I was actually considering this as I thought we could have a clean slate and he elaborated on what he wanted to do. I accidentally forgot to remove one of the payphones numbers from the block, so he did call later that night, but I didn't get it. I just got notified that he tried calling, so I felt bad and texted his grandmother to tell him to call me and I forgot to remove that specific number from the block list.

He called me later that night and said "so my grandmother told me to call you?" I said "yes? Well I thought we were going to discuss this further and you wanted to talk about it? Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm willing to take that chance with you." He said "it was a huge mistake. I don't think it will work out. There's too much damage. I need to focus solely on myself." I said "Uhh? Yes you do! But why would you call me telling me you wanted to show me the real you? I'm granting you that?!" He said "yeah but I'm not in love with you, so I don't want to keep hurting you." I said "but I thought you just wanted to start clean, and fall back in love with me? This is so confusing? You're not making sense? Why would you call me on your own accord and say you owe it to me, now you're telling me the opposite?" He said "I wanted to start clean when you visited me, but you ruined that. You stormed out because I said I wasn't in love with you." I said "but that's not what you said to me? You said you wanted me in your life?" He said "I don't know. I was just having a good day yesterday and missed you and called to see how you were because I do care." I said "you're a big head gamer. How dare you? I deserve way better. I'm gonna find the right man for me. I'm not giving you anymore chances." He said "you're already dating someone, I know." I said "I'M NOT DATING ANYONE! ARE YOU CRAZY? I SAID I'M GOING TO! AND I'M GONNA FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL BE IN LOVE WITH ME INSTEAD OF ME BEING PLAYED WITH!" He said "It all was a mistake. And you even said you were dating someone" I said "I NEVER SAID THAT! I SAID I DESERVE TO HAVE SOMEONE IN LOVE WITH ME! You are seriously messed up in the head." He went on to tell me I'm never allowed there because I stormed out of the halfway house? He said that it was "negative" to the techs? Yet he told me everything was fine if I wanted to visit again.

He also lied and didn't tell me when he called me he was at his mother's wedding. So that's what he meant by he had a good day. Me and his mother don't get along, and instead he lied and said he's hanging with Brandon but really he was at his mother's wedding. That hurt me he couldn't be honest with me. It also hurt me he said he wanted to start fresh and wanted me in his life, then says the next day "I need to focus on myself. Everyone doesn't like you because of you storming out, so the therapist won't allow visits. And I just called because I wanted to see how you and your dad are? Like WTF? I'm so devastated because I didn't try to contact him! He contacted me and switches gears when I was going to grant him that opportunity to show me the "new" Mark? I'm so heartbroken and shattered he played with my head. Now I need a new number because he obviously doesn't understand boundaries because he contacted me through a different phone because he was blocked on his payphones and other phones. Has anyone dealt with this? I'm so confused and hurt. I was doing a little better too until he snuck that call. I don't understand. He is hurting me so bad and now I have to change my number. I can't believe the pain I feel that he would treat me that and say I'm dating someone, and just say what he said. I'm shattered.

BTW he kept profusing saying he wasn't dating anyone or interested in anyone when I questioned him if that's the reason why his feelings changed. So I don't know what is going on and now I'm just shattered. I think he did this just to mess with me.
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Old 03-09-2018, 11:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Mandy05 View Post
Hello all. As you all know from my previous posts, I blocked my ex alcoholic bf that's in a halfway house, and had NO contact with him. I was kinda working through it. Then on Thursday March 8th I got an "unknown" number calling me. I immediately picked it up because I thought it was my therapist as her number shows up "unknown" and thought she was cancelling our appointment on the 9th. Well it was my ex! I was shocked and said "why are you calling my phone? Who's phone are you using?" He said he was using his step brother's phone and blocked the number.

He was acting like everything was good? I didn't like how he said "so how are you and how's your dad? I love you and care about you, and wanted to see how you are, see how your dad is too." My dad has a blood clot, but he was just acting like nothing happened between us?

I said "you have no right calling me. My dad is fine, but you need to stop." He said "Well I wanted you to see the new me, and I wanted us to start off slow. I love you, but I owe it to you to be the new Mark that treats you well." I said "but you're not in love with me?" He said "but that's why I wanted to start over. I wanted to fall back in love with you again. You deserve to see the sober Mark." I said "well, that's thoughtful. I'll speak further about this with you. I'll unblock the payphones, so call me from there." His brother wanted his phone back.

I was actually considering this as I thought we could have a clean slate and he elaborated on what he wanted to do. I accidentally forgot to remove one of the payphones numbers from the block, so he did call later that night, but I didn't get it. I just got notified that he tried calling, so I felt bad and texted his grandmother to tell him to call me and I forgot to remove that specific number from the block list.

He called me later that night and said "so my grandmother told me to call you?" I said "yes? Well I thought we were going to discuss this further and you wanted to talk about it? Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm willing to take that chance with you." He said "it was a huge mistake. I don't think it will work out. There's too much damage. I need to focus solely on myself." I said "Uhh? Yes you do! But why would you call me telling me you wanted to show me the real you? I'm granting you that?!" He said "yeah but I'm not in love with you, so I don't want to keep hurting you." I said "but I thought you just wanted to start clean, and fall back in love with me? This is so confusing? You're not making sense? Why would you call me on your own accord and say you owe it to me, now you're telling me the opposite?" He said "I wanted to start clean when you visited me, but you ruined that. You stormed out because I said I wasn't in love with you." I said "but that's not what you said to me? You said you wanted me in your life?" He said "I don't know. I was just having a good day yesterday and missed you and called to see how you were because I do care." I said "you're a big head gamer. How dare you? I deserve way better. I'm gonna find the right man for me. I'm not giving you anymore chances." He said "you're already dating someone, I know." I said "I'M NOT DATING ANYONE! ARE YOU CRAZY? I SAID I'M GOING TO! AND I'M GONNA FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL BE IN LOVE WITH ME INSTEAD OF ME BEING PLAYED WITH!" He said "It all was a mistake. And you even said you were dating someone" I said "I NEVER SAID THAT! I SAID I DESERVE TO HAVE SOMEONE IN LOVE WITH ME! You are seriously messed up in the head." He went on to tell me I'm never allowed there because I stormed out of the halfway house? He said that it was "negative" to the techs? Yet he told me everything was fine if I wanted to visit again.

He also lied and didn't tell me when he called me he was at his mother's wedding. So that's what he meant by he had a good day. Me and his mother don't get along, and instead he lied and said he's hanging with Brandon but really he was at his mother's wedding. That hurt me he couldn't be honest with me. It also hurt me he said he wanted to start fresh and wanted me in his life, then says the next day "I need to focus on myself. Everyone doesn't like you because of you storming out, so the therapist won't allow visits. And I just called because I wanted to see how you and your dad are? Like WTF? I'm so devastated because I didn't try to contact him! He contacted me and switches gears when I was going to grant him that opportunity to show me the "new" Mark? I'm so heartbroken and shattered he played with my head. Now I need a new number because he obviously doesn't understand boundaries because he contacted me through a different phone because he was blocked on his payphones and other phones. Has anyone dealt with this? I'm so confused and hurt. I was doing a little better too until he snuck that call. I don't understand. He is hurting me so bad and now I have to change my number. I can't believe the pain I feel that he would treat me that and say I'm dating someone, and just say what he said. I'm shattered.

BTW he kept profusing saying he wasn't dating anyone or interested in anyone when I questioned him if that's the reason why his feelings changed. So I don't know what is going on and now I'm just shattered. I think he did this just to mess with me.
I am sorry you are going through this but your ABF has shown you who he is over and over and yet you get drawn in again and again. We have all been here.
No contact means no contact. If he calls you surreptitiously like he did, you hang up. The more time and distance you put between you the better. Keep working with your therapist, go to Al anon to deal with the co dependency.
He is an A but you are allowing him to cross your boundaries by going after him, calling his grandmother, etc. You are enabling him to contact you and play with your head. You blame him for what he is doing to you but you are allowing him that space. You cannot control him but you can control your reactions, and the space you allow him in your life, that you can control.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:18 AM
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Givenup is right. As soon as you heard his voice, the next action should have been to hang up. No drama can occur IF you don't give him the opportunity to create it.

Simple enough, right?
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:33 AM
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I'm so sorry...an addict not in real recovery can be just like a snake-oil salesman, right?

*sigh* No new contact = no new pain

Sending hugs and prayers!
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Old 03-10-2018, 04:12 AM
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"I wanted to fall back in love with you again. You deserve to see the sober Mark."

Wow. This is so presumptuous of him. He's thinking 100% of himself here. HE wants to fall in love with you again (but he doesn't love you now, he's just toying with the idea of maybe loving you in the future)... for what? Was his idea of "being in love" good before? Or was it just about you looking after him? It's the "again" part that's not great here. He wants the same old "love" that you supposedly have... one where he probably did no work and you all the work in the relationship. By "work", I mean emotional labor.

If he really is in recovery, he would not be asking anything of you, or telling you what you need or deserve. This conversation you had with him does not sound remotely like an apology. "I owe it to you to be the new Mark who treats you well" = "I owe it to myself to tell my ex that I'm an awesome guy now".

Also... you "deserve" to see the sober Mark? Come on. This guy... . He's telling you what you deserve. If he knew what you deserve he probably would not have done the things he did to you in the past. What's the chance that he knows how to treat other people the way they "deserve" now?

He talks as if he's only deigning to pick up the phone and call you, like "allowing" you to hear his "sober" voice is a big huge favor. I think this is what he was really saying when he called you: "Hey Mandy, it's me, Mark! Remember me, the guy you dumped? I'm sober now, woot woot, check out the BRAND NEW awesome SOBER me... and then watch my @rse as I walk out this door!" I'm making assumptions here about him being vindictive. I really don't know him... and have not read your past posts. I also think that accusing you of seeing someone else is his way of telling you that he's seeing someone. I think he called you as a "back-up"... because whatever behaviors got him into his addiction are probably causing trouble in his new/current relationship... and he needs a backup. This is all from the classic A's playbook. I don't know anything about Mark here. But I would not be surprised if this was happening.

I knew an A who could turn on the waterworks to draw you in, because you think he's being honest and vulnerable, and as soon as you're close enough, his mask will drop and he'll scream at you about how you've made him a victim by staying away from his madness.

No contact = no new hurts. So easy to write, so hard to enforce. I understand why you called his grandma. I would be curious and do it too... or at least be very tempted to do it. I think if I didn't, my brain would keep trying to think about why he called... and it would drive me crazy. Forgive yourself and move on. You slipped up so be kind to yourself. Take a long bath and have a cry. Be strong. If you need a stock reaction to these unexpected phone calls from Purportedly Sober Mark, I suggest screaming (Arrruuuggghhhh!!!) into the phone and hanging up quickly... then speed dialing your local snake control to come check out your home.
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Old 03-10-2018, 04:56 AM
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Mandy, I am usually of the opinion "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." (Hanlon's razor)

Your ex has a mean streak. Alkie, non-alkie either way he's a boob. I don't think he confused or working on himself. I think he's intentionally manipulative and unkind.

When I see private number on my cell, I don't answer it. 99% of the time it's a sales call. If it isn't, the caller leaves a message and I call back.

Move on.
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Old 03-10-2018, 05:46 AM
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I don't answer any calls on my cell that aren't numbers that I already have programmed in. If it's important, the caller will leave a voice mail.
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Old 03-10-2018, 05:50 AM
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Thank you everyone. ❤️ I'm so ******* mad right now! I couldn't get to bed until 4am and had two hours of sleep because I was crying so much. I wasn't crying at all when I wasn't speaking to him. I had a lot of anger and I was angry, depressed, and sad, but I was at least better than this! He affected me SO ******* bad and now I just want to rip his head off. I think he lied about me because how was it "negative" or "toxic" that I just walked out of that halfway house when he told me he's not in love with me? I didn't fight with him. I didn't scream, hoot or holler. I just walked out. Wow that's really toxic? SMH. He made up some kind of lie for them to think it was.

I'm so angry, hurt, and an emotional wreck right now. I am also angry he said he was with his step brother and they were hanging out, when really he was at his mother's wedding. His family are tumultuous people. They pick on significant others. They tortured me so badly I changed my number when I was with him because their toxicity and hatred for me was disgusting. I didn't do anything to these people.

So for him to say "it was a good day" after what his family did to me really f*****g hurts. Because I made sure he wasn't homeless when his family didn't care where he would be. His mother had 3 extra guest rooms and he couldn't stay at her house, so I let him live with me in my crammed 1 bedroom apartment. His family didn't care about him, and I WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED HIM INTO THE REHAB AND THE HALFWAY HOUSE! Yeah no thanks to me. I'm just a piece of s** in their eyes because I didn't want to be apart of their chaos. I financially and emotionally supported this idiot, and took care of him, and believed in him when nobody else did and he has the nerve to basically say he had a good day with his family, but not with me? That just makes me want to slap him! His family is the definition of toxicity and his mother, and his dad, and siblings are all psychotic.

I think he is seeing someone else, but it literally was a day later he changed his mind? It made no sense. I really don't get the purpose of him calling me and saying all of that, and then he says the complete opposite? I guess I have to get a new number because I can't block "unknown" numbers. Some of my professors are under "unknown" number, and my therapist is. I literally thought it was her because we had an appointment the next day, so it would make sense if she were calling me to possibly cancel. I just wish I would have hung up like what everyone said. I really thought he meant what he was saying, but he's just a manipulative, weird, Ahole that I hope rots in hell for doing what he's doing to me.

He thought it was so normal what he did too? Like if I chose to walk away, and you know that, then that means you can't talk to the person EVER! Like he thinks it's ok to call me here and there to see how I am? No. That's not how it works. He makes me sick. I found out about the wedding and all of that because I creeped on the mother's Facebook and saw all her wedding pics. It made me so sick he would lie about it! His family trumped me. He probably has some skank lined up, which is why he kept accusing me of dating someone and twisting what I was saying. I'm in tears again. I can't handle this. This was a huge blow and just f***ed up to do this to me. I feel so betrayed and played. I can't stop crying.
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Old 03-10-2018, 05:55 AM
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My cousin sexually assaulted my sister and physically abused other members of my extended family.

I always thought he was a deluded POS, even before I knew about the abusive behavior. After an incident where he tried to sell me jewelry during a hurricane I got fed up and blocked him. Only regret is that I didn't do so sooner.

Then things got weird. Once the blocking occurred, he tried to friend me using another variation of his name. Block. Yet again. Block. He even tried to friend me using his father's name. Block yet again.

He's always looking for a way in. Just recently, he liked an Instagram post that was several years old (I no longer post on the account). At that point, I was like "whatever buddy".

It has been fifteen years since I've seen this guy in the flesh. I was never his girlfriend, and yet he continues to try to engage me. Why? I have no idea? Maybe I'm a challenge. Maybe he's ticked off that even as a little girl I thought he was a sociopath. Maybe he wants to bug the hell out of me.

But rest assured, it's not because he loves me.
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Old 03-10-2018, 06:09 AM
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I didn't see your new post. I'm so sorry. Do you really want to be married into that family one day? Ugh.

I think he is seeing someone else, but it literally was a day later he changed his mind? It made no sense.
OR... he started dating someone else, she realized it was a very bad idea, and dumped him.

My ex-fiance said all the BS in the end that I was abusive and angry when he called off the wedding. He forgot to add in some details, which was he was never reliable (often one to five hours late), took it upon himself to blatantly flirt with other women in front of me, and cheated on me at least once if not twice. He wanted to look like the good guy because he knew deep in his heart that he was not so. If he threw me under the bus, oh well.

Ten years later, he was apologizing to me in a parking lot for his behavior (ran into each other). When he had broken up with me, my mind was filled with all these fantasy scenarios of how he would say he was sorry to me. What I never imagined was when the opportunity presented himself, I really didn't care. I was so indifferent I felt nothing. Well, no, that's not true, I was annoyed because he was making me run late and I needed to get back to my husband and son. I had moved on.

And you will too.
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Old 03-10-2018, 06:13 AM
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Originally Posted by PuzzledHeart View Post
My cousin sexually assaulted my sister and physically abused other members of my extended family.

I always thought he was a deluded POS, even before I knew about the abusive behavior. After an incident where he tried to sell me jewelry during a hurricane I got fed up and blocked him. Only regret is that I didn't do so sooner.

Then things got weird. Once the blocking occurred, he tried to friend me using another variation of his name. Block. Yet again. Block. He even tried to friend me using his father's name. Block yet again.

He's always looking for a way in. Just recently, he liked an Instagram post that was several years old (I no longer post on the account). At that point, I was like "whatever buddy".

It has been fifteen years since I've seen this guy in the flesh. I was never his girlfriend, and yet he continues to try to engage me. Why? I have no idea? Maybe I'm a challenge. Maybe he's ticked off that even as a little girl I thought he was a sociopath. Maybe he wants to bug the hell out of me.

But rest assured, it's not because he loves me.
OMG! What a psycho! I'm so sorry ❤️. I get what you are saying. I know he doesn't love me, but it's all messed up. I'm sorry about that situation. Hugs. What a disgusting human being!
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Old 03-10-2018, 06:26 AM
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I frogot to add in a comment here, sorry it's long. Please read. Thank you for the support. ❤️

Thank you everyone. ❤️ Forgot to add that when he called me, and I said "I deserve someone who will be in love with me." He said "why do you have to date people? I'm just focusing on myself and loving myself." He kept preaching to me to love myself! I'm thinking "ok, you're preaching to me to love myself, yet you're the one that messaged women the minute we broke up and hooked up with other women, while I remained single and hung out with girl friends. Yeah ok." *rolls eyes* I said "well if I wanted to date someone I will, but I'm not. That's not the point I'm getting at." He said at the end of the convo he wouldn't be home for a couple of hours. I said "that's fine. I won't be either. So it works out."

Since I forgot to unblock the one payphone he used, he probably literally thought in his delusional head that I was out with someone and blocked him because I said I would unblock him. Even me explaining to his grandmother that it was that particular number I forgot to delete from the block list wasn't good enough. He probably thought I was lying because he's so convinced that I'm with someone else. If that was the case, I wouldn't be so upset and give him the time of day, and unlike him I am honest, and would tell him! I'm so f*****g mad right now! I couldn't get to bed until 4am and had two hours of sleep because I was crying so much. I wasn't crying at all when I wasn't speaking to him. I had a lot of anger and I was angry, depressed, and sad, but I was at least better than this! He affected me SO f*****g bad and now I just want to rip his head off. I think he lied about me because how was it "negative" or "toxic" that I just walked out of that halfway house when he told me he's not in love with me? I didn't fight with him. I didn't scream, hoot or holler. I just walked out. Wow that's really toxic? SMH. He made up some kind of lie for them to think it was.

I'm so angry, hurt, and an emotional wreck right now. I am also angry he said he was with his step brother and they were hanging out, when really he was at his mother's wedding. His family are tumultuous people. They pick on significant others. They tortured me so badly I changed my number when I was with him because their toxicity and hatred for me was disgusting. I didn't do anything to these people.

So for him to say "it was a good day" after what his family did to me really f*****g hurts. Because I made sure he wasn't homeless when his family didn't care where he would be. His mother had 3 extra guest rooms and he couldn't stay at her house, so I let him live with me in my crammed 1 bedroom apartment. His family didn't care about him, and I WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED HIM INTO THE REHAB AND THE HALFWAY HOUSE! Yeah no thanks to me. I'm just a piece of s**t in their eyes because I didn't want to be apart of their chaos. I financially and emotionally supported this idiot, and took care of him, and believed in him when nobody else did and he has the nerve to basically say he had a good day with his family, but not with me? That just makes me want to slap him! His family is the definition of toxicity and his mother, and his dad, and siblings are all psychotic.

I think he is seeing someone else, but it literally was a day later he changed his mind? It made no sense. I really don't get the purpose of him calling me and saying all of that, and then he says the complete opposite? I guess I have to get a new number because I can't block "unknown" numbers. Some of my professors are under "unknown" number, and my therapist is. I literally thought it was her because we had an appointment the next day, so it would make sense if she were calling me to possibly cancel. I just wish I would have hung up like what everyone said. I really thought he meant what he was saying, but he's just a manipulative, weird, Ahole that I hope rots in hell for doing what he's doing to me.

He thought it was so normal what he did too? Like if I chose to walk away, and you know that, then that means you can't talk to the person EVER! Like he thinks it's ok to call me here and there to see how I am? No. That's not how it works. He makes me sick. I found out about the wedding and all of that because I creeped on the mother's Facebook and saw all her wedding pics. It made me so sick he would lie about it! His family trumped me. He probably has some skank lined up, which is why he kept accusing me of dating someone and twisting what I was saying. I'm in tears again. I can't handle this. This was a huge blow and just f***ed up to do this to me. I feel so betrayed and played. I can't stop crying.
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Old 03-10-2018, 07:10 AM
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All I can say is get off the drama bus by not engaging with this man, stop trying to work him out cos you never will and do not answer anymore unknown calls on your phone. Concentrate on yourself. He's not in recovery acting the way he is and he probably never will be. You deserve better but to get better you have to heal and be better. That takes work on yourself for a long time. There are no short cuts to our own recovery.
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:57 AM
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Is it possible he was drinking at the wedding?
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Old 03-10-2018, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Mandy05 View Post
His family are tumultuous people. They pick on significant others. They tortured me so badly I changed my number when I was with him because their toxicity and hatred for me was disgusting. I didn't do anything to these people.

Because I made sure he wasn't homeless when his family didn't care where he would be. His mother had 3 extra guest rooms and he couldn't stay at her house, so I let him live with me in my crammed 1 bedroom apartment. His family didn't care about him, and I WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED HIM INTO THE REHAB AND THE HALFWAY HOUSE! Yeah no thanks to me. I'm just a piece of s** in their eyes because I didn't want to be apart of their chaos.
I'm going to suggest something that might make things clearer for you (or not, take what you need and leave the rest). But after I suggest this, I would stop thinking about his motivations, what he is or is not doing, and focus on you because the more you think about him and his family, the more stuck you will become. Here's my suggestion: his family have histories of marrying addicts, which is why they have toxic relationships with each other; they have tried to get him into rehab and have offered him a room, and because he doesn't want to be in rehab, he says they don't offer him a room. He triangulated you all as a divide and conquer strategy because this drama distracts from what he is really doing. Because of his actions, his family thinks that you are the problem because, after all, he was staying with you and still doing what he was doing. He is their precious Mark, after all. His issues can't be his fault! If they had a history of making him accountable for anything, he would have learned accountability.

That is just a suggestion. I don't know this Mark from a bar of soap (although it's likely that neither does he).

My ex's family hates me because they were looking for someone else to blame for his addiction, when in fact his addiction preceded me by eleven years!!! If they had a history of making my ex accountable for anything, he would have learned accountability. So... 1) he's not homeless and never was... and if he is or was, he put himself there. Keep your head up and keep walking. 2) He will not and can not ever give you what you "deserve" (people don't get into relationships to give their partners what they "deserve"... yuck). 3) When you hear his voice on the phone, scream "arrruuuggghhh!!!" and quickly hang up.
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Old 03-10-2018, 01:10 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
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Thanks for the replies. I'm not sure if he was drinking but I'm guessing not because they test you for alcohol. The one response about his family, well they didn't blame me for his addiction. They just bullied me. They always had something negative to say about me when I was really kind to them and didn't give them a reason to be so hateful towards me. They harassed me a lot to the point of changing my number because I was always "wrong". Because my piece of **** ex would always go back to them, and tell them about our fights. His family would text ripping me a new *******. They got too involved.

Well, I asked my ex today why he would play with my head and why he would lie about the wedding. He said "I don't owe you an explanation." I said "No, I just wanted to know why you lied? Like what's the point? And why did you mess with my head?" He said "I didn't. I just called to see how you were. You are making this bigger than what it is. You are too toxic and I just want to work on myself." I said "me? Too toxic? I helped you and listened to you, and cared for you. How dare you! I just wanted clarity. You're seriously messed up. You said you wanted to start over, and I was willing to give you that chance." He said "I meant maybe before if we had a good visit but you stormed out and pissed me off." I said "wow. You're a very rude, manipulative person. If it's another girl that's all you had to say." He said "I don't want these girls. I am just working on myself." "I said then don't call me from someone's phone. You can't treat people like that." He insulted me and said "I don't want to talk to you. You can't even hold a job!" I said "excuse you? You're the one that job hopped because you couldn't keep a job. I only job hopped once because of my full time schedule with school. I was supporting both of us financially because you were always drunk and losing jobs." He said "F YOU! I am a hard worker." I said "So am I though. How dare you insult me saying I couldn't keep a job when you took me broke." He went on to say I'm a loser because I failed two classes. Just being callous and mean. Didn't care at all.

I can't stop crying again. He was like "you don't even call to ask how I am. You just called for clarity. How selfish." I'm mindboggled by the abuse. He is so mean and hurtful for no reason. I hate every bit of him.
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Old 03-10-2018, 01:26 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
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I am so sorry he played with your head and that you are hurting again.
I am definitely with the others on that one, next time if you pick up and it's him hang up. Nothing good will come out of staying in contact with him just more hurt and pain.

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Old 03-10-2018, 02:13 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
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seems if its coming up an unknown number, you can let it go to voicemail,then sceen the voice mail. if its him, erase without listening.

i get calls from unknown numbers now and then. i always let em go to voicemail.
and do the same.
no need to listen to any more than the first few seconds to know i can erase.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
I am so sorry he played with your head and that you are hurting again.
I am definitely with the others on that one, next time if you pick up and it's him hang up. Nothing good will come out of staying in contact with him just more hurt and pain.

Hugs back ❤️ I know. I just don't want to hear his voice at all. He's so callous and evil. I have to change my number unfortunately.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:39 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
seems if its coming up an unknown number, you can let it go to voicemail,then sceen the voice mail. if its him, erase without listening.

i get calls from unknown numbers now and then. i always let em go to voicemail.
and do the same.
no need to listen to any more than the first few seconds to know i can erase.
Thank you. Yeah I can let it go to voicemail, but I just don't want to hear his ugly voice on my phone at all. I have to change my number unfortunately. I am currently working but the new school schedule I have coming up for the summer my job won't work around, so I'm applying at different places. This sucks that I have to change my number all because that idiot can't just leave things be.
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