I think many of us in LT marriages with an A have these thoughts. I know I do time and again. Why? because you never know when they will fall off the wagon again, you never really have the same level of trust and respect for them after all that has happened. In sobriety, many of them are still detached and too caught up in themselves to really see you. You never feel like you really have a 100% partner who is there for you and has your back, you have done it alone for so long that you probably wouldn't know what to do with a partner who is fully present. I think about this often, which is the better option, to go or stay. Even in sobriety, I often catch myself looking at him and thinking, why do I stay with you, you are no good for me.