Mandy05

Hello all. As you all know from my previous posts, I blocked my ex alcoholic bf that's in a halfway house, and had NO contact with him. I was kinda working through it. Then on Thursday March 8th I got an "unknown" number calling me. I immediately picked it up because I thought it was my therapist as her number shows up "unknown" and thought she was cancelling our appointment on the 9th. Well it was my ex! I was shocked and said "why are you calling my phone? Who's phone are you using?" He said he was using his step brother's phone and blocked the number.

He was acting like everything was good? I didn't like how he said "so how are you and how's your dad? I love you and care about you, and wanted to see how you are, see how your dad is too." My dad has a blood clot, but he was just acting like nothing happened between us?

I said "you have no right calling me. My dad is fine, but you need to stop." He said "Well I wanted you to see the new me, and I wanted us to start off slow. I love you, but I owe it to you to be the new Mark that treats you well." I said "but you're not in love with me?" He said "but that's why I wanted to start over. I wanted to fall back in love with you again. You deserve to see the sober Mark." I said "well, that's thoughtful. I'll speak further about this with you. I'll unblock the payphones, so call me from there." His brother wanted his phone back.

I was actually considering this as I thought we could have a clean slate and he elaborated on what he wanted to do. I accidentally forgot to remove one of the payphones numbers from the block, so he did call later that night, but I didn't get it. I just got notified that he tried calling, so I felt bad and texted his grandmother to tell him to call me and I forgot to remove that specific number from the block list.

He called me later that night and said "so my grandmother told me to call you?" I said "yes? Well I thought we were going to discuss this further and you wanted to talk about it? Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm willing to take that chance with you." He said "it was a huge mistake. I don't think it will work out. There's too much damage. I need to focus solely on myself." I said "Uhh? Yes you do! But why would you call me telling me you wanted to show me the real you? I'm granting you that?!" He said "yeah but I'm not in love with you, so I don't want to keep hurting you." I said "but I thought you just wanted to start clean, and fall back in love with me? This is so confusing? You're not making sense? Why would you call me on your own accord and say you owe it to me, now you're telling me the opposite?" He said "I wanted to start clean when you visited me, but you ruined that. You stormed out because I said I wasn't in love with you." I said "but that's not what you said to me? You said you wanted me in your life?" He said "I don't know. I was just having a good day yesterday and missed you and called to see how you were because I do care." I said "you're a big head gamer. How dare you? I deserve way better. I'm gonna find the right man for me. I'm not giving you anymore chances." He said "you're already dating someone, I know." I said "I'M NOT DATING ANYONE! ARE YOU CRAZY? I SAID I'M GOING TO! AND I'M GONNA FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL BE IN LOVE WITH ME INSTEAD OF ME BEING PLAYED WITH!" He said "It all was a mistake. And you even said you were dating someone" I said "I NEVER SAID THAT! I SAID I DESERVE TO HAVE SOMEONE IN LOVE WITH ME! You are seriously messed up in the head." He went on to tell me I'm never allowed there because I stormed out of the halfway house? He said that it was "negative" to the techs? Yet he told me everything was fine if I wanted to visit again.

He also lied and didn't tell me when he called me he was at his mother's wedding. So that's what he meant by he had a good day. Me and his mother don't get along, and instead he lied and said he's hanging with Brandon but really he was at his mother's wedding. That hurt me he couldn't be honest with me. It also hurt me he said he wanted to start fresh and wanted me in his life, then says the next day "I need to focus on myself. Everyone doesn't like you because of you storming out, so the therapist won't allow visits. And I just called because I wanted to see how you and your dad are? Like WTF? I'm so devastated because I didn't try to contact him! He contacted me and switches gears when I was going to grant him that opportunity to show me the "new" Mark? I'm so heartbroken and shattered he played with my head. Now I need a new number because he obviously doesn't understand boundaries because he contacted me through a different phone because he was blocked on his payphones and other phones. Has anyone dealt with this? I'm so confused and hurt. I was doing a little better too until he snuck that call. I don't understand. He is hurting me so bad and now I have to change my number. I can't believe the pain I feel that he would treat me that and say I'm dating someone, and just say what he said. I'm shattered.

BTW he kept profusing saying he wasn't dating anyone or interested in anyone when I questioned him if that's the reason why his feelings changed. So I don't know what is going on and now I'm just shattered. I think he did this just to mess with me.