You can discuss you're unhappy and this is why and be assertive. Boundary setting though does not have to be spoken otherwise it can become a rule. You are seeing behaviors that you do not like, to file for divorce because of them is a boundary.
If you tell him what you want him to do and he is being manipulative he may change for the short term or only change what you've mentioned to keep you married. Will he push it back at you? I sit back and watch and listen to see what H says and does with my needs.