Hi Wife - Isn't amazing when you can see how your own behavior - when you were just trying *so hard* to help - is just as unhealthy as the addict's behavior? Congratulations for starting your own recovery.
The title of your post caught my eye. I've been there. You wrote, "When is the right time to tell him I’m not happy with our relationship and I’m feeling disregarded and used?" I kicked that thought around in my head for literally YEARS before saying it out loud. By the time I said it, I was 100% totally and completely done. I left.
I've gotten some great advice here, including the reality that you don't need a reason to leave if you want to leave. Your AH is sober and committed to recovery, which is wonderful. That has nothing to do with whether you want to be in the marriage or not, really.