Mum,
My lack of education about booze helped me to periodically drink daily, day drink, and start and stop hundreds of times.
I needed some medical issues to shake me up enough to quit past a week or so.
Once I hit 90 days clean or so, I became impatient that I was still feeling off kilter.
I am now nearly 1000 days clean and sometimes I feel great, others I am off kilter.
I call it my PAWS. The brain damage is deap. It is real. If I get drunk again, I will suffer again.
I will never fully recover from my addiction. It is a chronic condition.
SR has save me from relapse over and over. Reading here keeps the fading memories of why I quit alive.
I pray eventually I will rewire enough that I won't crave any more. Until then, I will take my crave suffering as a reminder that I am a little jacked up from my drunkard ways.
It is my life now.
I don't envy drinkers. Drinking is an addiction for way more people than advertised. If a person routinely consumes 14 units a week, plus periodic binge, they are addicted for life. That level of drinking will expedite their demise.
The world according to D122y.
Thanks.