Originally Posted by
Drillbit 
I'm terrified that I've finally done some serious harm but I don't want to go to the doctors because I would have to come clean with my family. I can't deal with that shame on top of everything else right now
As the others have said, "your family probably already knows" or for sure, suspects. Your visit to your doctor, however, would be only between you and your doctor. Is there a way for you to get there and talk to your doctor without your parents knowing? After you're feeling better, you can talk with your parents.