Sarahsays

So, as I've mentioned this is my new day 1 and now I've made the decision to quit alcohol the severity of my physical and mental condition is becoming clear to me. Before, when I knew I would just drink these concerns off soon enough, they were easy to ignore.

First off the physical, obviously there's the damage the smoke and drink has done to my organs, luckily nothing fatal but the effects will be there a very long time. Its damaged my skin to the point where I look ten years older than I am, easily. There's also my weight which has rocketed in the last couple of years due to those pesky alcohol calories. In general I look unhealthy, unwell and miserable.

But worse is the phychological effects, I am mentally a mess. My worldview is utterly bleak and defeated, I find it hard to see my surroundings and society and people in general quite bleakly. Perhaps the way I've been treated by some has cast a dark cloud on how I see others. I don't want to see people this way, so pessimistically, It's an instinct now out of self preservation if anything. I'm depressed and horribly anxious, which is the worst of it all and my ability to think clearly now is shot to bits. It feels like my brain is full of cobwebs. I'd like to point out as well that this is after I've slowly come off alcohol, this is not a hangover blues situation, this is just how badly alcohol how affected my mind, body and soul. I don't know if I believe in things being evil, but if such things exist, this is it.