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taking stock of the effects of alcohol

Old 03-08-2018, 09:49 AM
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taking stock of the effects of alcohol

So, as I've mentioned this is my new day 1 and now I've made the decision to quit alcohol the severity of my physical and mental condition is becoming clear to me. Before, when I knew I would just drink these concerns off soon enough, they were easy to ignore.

First off the physical, obviously there's the damage the smoke and drink has done to my organs, luckily nothing fatal but the effects will be there a very long time. Its damaged my skin to the point where I look ten years older than I am, easily. There's also my weight which has rocketed in the last couple of years due to those pesky alcohol calories. In general I look unhealthy, unwell and miserable.

But worse is the phychological effects, I am mentally a mess. My worldview is utterly bleak and defeated, I find it hard to see my surroundings and society and people in general quite bleakly. Perhaps the way I've been treated by some has cast a dark cloud on how I see others. I don't want to see people this way, so pessimistically, It's an instinct now out of self preservation if anything. I'm depressed and horribly anxious, which is the worst of it all and my ability to think clearly now is shot to bits. It feels like my brain is full of cobwebs. I'd like to point out as well that this is after I've slowly come off alcohol, this is not a hangover blues situation, this is just how badly alcohol how affected my mind, body and soul. I don't know if I believe in things being evil, but if such things exist, this is it.
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Old 03-08-2018, 10:04 AM
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I had to do a lot of spiritual battle in early days. I felt just like you do, that the world was a horrible place and it was completely against me and that I could do no right.

I just kept searching for answers, the good answers. It all looks so much brighter with some sober time, truly. If you can, spend a lot of time reading threads in various sections on this site. That was helpful to me in early days before I could really put two thoughts together.

It does get better, but not at first. There is going to be a lot of discomfort and confusion and irritability but it does slowly loosen its grip.

One day at a time. I did online jigsaw puzzles and that was good for calming me. I listened to Pandora's station called, "Classical for the Soul." I slept as much as I could and I ate pretty much anything I wanted.

Hang on, and don't forget to breathe.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:06 AM
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Keep a journal and write that down.
I was never religious or spiritual before, but once alcohol got ahold of me, I realized those demons in movies weren't fake, in actually with addiction, they were far more sinister in real life.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:10 AM
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You are actually seeing things quite clearly. There's a good chance that your alcoholic brain will, in the coming days and months, try to convince you otherwise.

The good news is that all of these effects can be reversed. Doesn't mean that they will disappear, but they can be reversed. Six years ago I too, was a mess in all the ways you describe. Today, at age 70, I am mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. My depression has lifted in favor of joy upon awakening every morning.

May you be successful in your quest...

Joy,

warren
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:35 AM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
I had to do a lot of spiritual battle in early days. I felt just like you do, that the world was a horrible place and it was completely against me and that I could do no right.

I just kept searching for answers, the good answers. It all looks so much brighter with some sober time, truly. If you can, spend a lot of time reading threads in various sections on this site. That was helpful to me in early days before I could really put two thoughts together.

It does get better, but not at first. There is going to be a lot of discomfort and confusion and irritability but it does slowly loosen its grip.

One day at a time. I did online jigsaw puzzles and that was good for calming me. I listened to Pandora's station called, "Classical for the Soul." I slept as much as I could and I ate pretty much anything I wanted.

Hang on, and don't forget to breathe.
Yeah today I'm trying just to get through as I feel quite sick. I'm planning on coming up with more of a plan, so to speak, when I can think a little more clearly as I'm just exhausted right now. I intend on reading a lot more and maybe even writing if I can as soon as possible to try and keep myself calm.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Forward12 View Post
Keep a journal and write that down.
I was never religious or spiritual before, but once alcohol got ahold of me, I realized those demons in movies weren't fake, in actually with addiction, they were far more sinister in real life.
It certainly feels like alcohol is a demon that's taken over me, that's for sure.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by warrens View Post
You are actually seeing things quite clearly. There's a good chance that your alcoholic brain will, in the coming days and months, try to convince you otherwise.

The good news is that all of these effects can be reversed. Doesn't mean that they will disappear, but they can be reversed. Six years ago I too, was a mess in all the ways you describe. Today, at age 70, I am mountain biking, hiking, swimming, etc. My depression has lifted in favor of joy upon awakening every morning.

May you be successful in your quest...

Joy,

warren
Yeah I keep trying to remind myself that what I'm feeling is a chemical reaction and it will pass, it can just be hard in the moment. That's why my plan is to take things day by day as much as I can. Hiking sounds a lot of fun, I may look into it as I actually live in a rather rural area and I always found walking to be therapeutic.
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by Sarahsays View Post
It certainly feels like alcohol is a demon that's taken over me, that's for sure.
It sounds like it has. Google your local AA meetings and get in attendance, put the bottle down, and the miracle of sobriety will happen
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Old 03-08-2018, 11:51 AM
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I don't believe in evil, just a disconnect with the perfect wholeness that we are. Life experiences can make us feel pinched off from our wholeness and we use alcohol
or drugs to mask the pain of feeling isolated, broken, and not worthy. But we are all worthy, no exceptions. Try to let in a little light every day. Gratitude for any little thing can crack the door open just enough to let a little light in. You have a lot of consciousness and clarity about where you are, that is a big step forward and something to celebrate.
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Old 03-08-2018, 12:12 PM
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Yes, all that you feel illustrates just how harmful alcohol can be to some people (like us).

Apart from all of that, we are (as Parajito says) radiant beings, able to live life on life's terms if we simply allow it to flow.

Joy,

Warren
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