"If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love."
from the Story called 'freedom from bondage' We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longerrunning the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy will be done." We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
It works - it really does.
We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined.
But this is not all. There is action and more action. "Faith without works is dead." The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step Twelve.
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I have handed it over so many times but it’s now getting worse
2 things may be happening:
1- you havent COMPLETELY handed it over- you are leaving claw marks in it( glad i never did that!
)
2- you keep taking it back( glad i never did that!
)
onto this:
. I just feel so much regret shame and loss of me after what went on v toxic abusive stuff.
hhhhmmm... the 9th step promises tell us we will not regret the past if we are pains- taking about THIS phase of our development.
maybe its time to revisit the steps?